Monday, February 21, 2011

Confessions of a Hypochondriac

i am sure that having had cancer instilled a type of post traumatic stress reaction in which i don't ever quite take for granted that everything is going to work properly.

this is my fourth year in triathlon. in four years, i have toured my muskoskeletal syetem via aches and pains. i have learned about my knee, ankle,shins, shoulder, hip, lower back. i have discovered my achilles, biceps brachialis, pectorals, quads, hamstrings, popliteals, soleus, flexor digitorum longus, piriformis, ilio-tibial band and most recently, my plantar fascia.

 there is scarcely a part of my body that i have not felt pain in, and being who i am, i have tended at times, to catastrophize. i have read voraciously about these parts of my body, and about common, horrible injuries that stop people in their tracks. injuries that crush ironman dreams. i have feared them all. i have iced them into submission until i got ice burns. i have consumed vast quantities of homeopathic anti-inflammatories, i have purchased rollers, tapes, compression socks, creams, gels. i have learned about running shoe construction, about cycling cleats and knee pains, about bike fitting. i have studied tai chi running, barefoot running, mid-foot running; every kind of running.  i have learned (the hard way) about how not to use swimming paddles. i have  gone for massage, chiropractic,  accupuncture, sports medicine, bike fitting, physiotherapy. i have even had an MRI scan.

i am positive that i am not alone. it must be that anyone stupid enough to try to become an ironman athlete has had a similar journey through their body with pain as the tour-guide. it certainly does take a certain type of masochism to enjoy endurance sports. but that is only one part of the story.

in the past four years, i have learned how well my body heals. i have learned how to help it heal and i have begun to develop a faith in my body's ability to recover and to get stronger and stronger. and i have seen other benefits. i don't get sick as often, for example.

philosophies the world over, have posited the existence of a dynamic tension between creative and destructive forces in the universe, that keeps everything moving and progressing. training has become, for me, the practical living out of this very idea.

triathlon training has, at times, been a playground for my hypochondriacal tendencies. but it has also helped me to appreciate the delicate blalance between stress and adpatation in my body, and to develop a sense of faith in that. training is all about breaking things down, stressing them, and then doing what is necessary to reap the benfit of all that trauma you have just inflicted on yourself, ie. recovery/building back up.

thus, part of this road has been learning to live within this process, trusting it, and finding a balance point.

No comments:

Post a Comment