HALF WAY THERE

in terms of time, i am now just over half way along this road to penticton.
18 weeks behind me, 16 to go.
if i was on a literal road, it would be the I-94 and i would be passing by Bismark North Dakota.

as it turns out, i was once about three hours due south during another road trip, at Al's Oasis, in south Dakota and it looked like this.

  this is the gateway to the west. frontier-land. home of dances with wolves and grazing bison. it is a flat, barren countryside that is both austere and beautiful. by this time in a road trip, you are immersed in the road. you are humbled by what you are doing (driving across north america), and you feel simultaneously trapped and liberated by the process (at least i did).  this is the part of a road trip where things get philosophical. it is where you see demons, angels, and buddhas on the roadside and realize that they are all really with-in you.

in other words, at this point on the real road to penticton, it would be a good time and place for reflection. the same is true for this virtual road i have been documenting. even if i am still here in toronto, i am in bismark in my head in ironman terms. i have come pretty far, but there is still lots of road ahead. and that is both daunting and exciting. i have entered into the frontier and the wild west lays ahead, full of beautiful vistas, red rock canyons, rattlesnakes and sandstorms.

 training is stepping up. in the past 36 hours, i have trained as much as i slept . i am learning that there are doorways to worlds of energy beyond fatigue and there are holes that offer nothing but weight on your head. find the doors, avoid the holes.

life seems more balanced. training fits somehow, silently asserting itself. but not that important. my daughter is walking. she is pointing. her laughs, her steps, her smiles, make everything else seem very very very small.

fund-raising is a dog from hell.  it is very hard to get people to part with money. you have to forget about not being a pain in the ass. you have to swallow pride. there is a kind of zen to it, you really can't care what people think. and i can't claim any great success so far. and thanks to everyone who has donated to the LLS.

ironman is about keeping moving. it is about momentum. pacing. balance. it is feeding yourself, just enough and with the right stuff. it is about your ego and how not to let it get in the way. it is about doing things you really did not think were possible,  but not by being grandiose. you have to be realistic. if you dream too hard, you will lose. if you dream just enough, and you have one foot solidly in the reality of who and what you are at the most basic of levels, and you know what you can ask of yourself and what you cannot, then you might succeed.

and here i am, halfway along the road...and it still seems daunting, not quite possible and i wonder to myself how i am going to do this??? i don't know...but i am far enough along the road that going back is not possible, yet going further is still quite frightening. and there are quite a few demons, angels and buddhas on the horizon